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What I was very, very mistaken about through every move, step-by-step. “Foot on
was who would be behind the wheel. Not the clutch. Put us in neutral. Foot on the
Bradley. Oh no. As it transpires, this is brake. Turn the car on. Now into second
meant to be a driving les‐ gear. We’ll mostly stay in
son. Off-road. With a man‐ second gear, because
ual transmission. In a very first is too slow…and
large Land Rover Defender third is too terrifying,”
(defending against what? he adds dryly.
randy red squirrels?). And “Then just find the
with the steering wheel on bite,” Bradley continues,
the right—well, the wrong referring to that critical
side, from a North Ameri‐ juncture where you’re
can perspective. Brilliant. easing off the clutch and
I’m first in the hot seat, the car feels like a cat
with Bradley beside me. “All preparing to pounce.
buckled up, kids? Are your “Once you’ve got the
affairs in order?” I ask, bite, off the brake, then
stealing a glimpse at the off the clutch, and we’re
wide-eyed, white-knuckled away.”
captives reflected in the So we are, crunching
rearview mirror. along the muddy gravel
But Bradley is unde‐ road at the dizzying
terred. “If in doubt, put speed of an asthmatic
your foot on the brake. It doesn’t matter if tortoise…with a limp. “You must be doing
we stall. I know a lot of people’s worst fear, upwards of seven miles an hour right now,”
when driving a manual car, is stalling.” Bradley observes, with what I’m sure is a
“No,” I tell him. “My worst fear, in fact, is hint of awe.
falling off the hill.” At least this gives us ample opportunity
“To be honest, it’s almost completely to admire the scenery. Evergreen, birch,
possible to fall off,” Bradley insists. elm, oak, sycamore, and beech crowd to‐
Almost? gether on the hillsides, looking as pristine
“We’re surrounded by trees, and the and looking as pristine and untouched as
banks get quite steep,” he continues. “It’s they might have when this acreage came
like a roller coaster track, where you are into the owner’s family 35 generations ago.
steering, but if anything goes wrong, we “The forest is so dense in some places
just squish into the moss, and it’s kind of that there are huge spots where sunlight
alright.” cannot even vaguely penetrate,” Bradley
I could do with less talk of rollercoast‐ notes. “If you step out into the forest and
ers and squishing. But the thick, springy leave the road by 20 feet, you’ll probably
moss on the shady, densely wooded forest be the first person to stand in that exact
floor does look as reassuringly plush as the spot for hundreds and hundreds of years.”
70s shag carpeting of my childhood, only Reaching a viewpoint over Loch
probably less laden with Lego and disem‐ Lomond, Bradley explains that a tectonic
bodied Barbie heads. fault line—the Highland Boundary Fault--
Bradley calmly, capably walks me runs through the lake, separating the Scot‐
tish Highlands from the Lowlands. The dif‐
132 WINE DINE & TRAVEL MAGAZINE SUMMER 2024
