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3. “Huh. There are two oxygen were standing around in the aisles, It certainly put all my petty con-
masks in the bathroom.” snapping pictures of oxygen cerns into perspective.
masks that dangled like jellyfish
That’s right, my friends. If you’d from the overhead compartments. Sure, the masks hung like used IV
opted to join the Mile High club (I, for one, was certainly not going drips for the rest of the flight, but
with an airborne buddy, this to pass up this epic opportunity at least we knew they were there if
transatlantic flight ensured your for a new Facebook profile photo). we needed them.
needs would be catered for “in the
unlikely event of a change in cabin Please ensure your own mask is And yes, the in-flight entertain-
pressure.” Unless, of course, you securely fastened before taking ment system went dark for about
got greedy and decided to make it photos of other people in their an hour just as some of the films
a threesome. masks. were reaching their climax.
But the oxygen-dispensing feed-
(Don’t expect to al- But when, mo-
ways get so lucky in ments before, you
the loo, however, as faced down what
the FAA has report- might, in the mild-
edly removed all est of terms, be
oxygen masks from described as a real
toilets on US flights cheek-clencher,
to prevent anyone the last ten min-
from tampering utes of Maleficent
with them. So what- isn’t the happy
ever you do in there, ending that con-
you better make it a cerns you most.
quickie).
Maybe next time,
With those consid- when someone
erations out of the leans their chair
way, the realiza- back into my birth
tion that perhaps I canal, I’ll take a
should actually put kinder view. May-
on a mask myself fi- be, just maybe, I’ll
nally leapfrogged to even give them a
the forefront of my head massage. Or
cortex. at least I won’t
knee their seat
Just as I was reach- back with quite
ing for it, a voice the same ven-
boomed over the geance.
tannoy. It was
the captain himself, Amy’s new profile picture
sounding decidedly
abashed. bags weren’t the only things the
captain accidentally deployed. He
“Er….sorry folks. I pushed the also set off a chain reaction of gen-
wrong button.” Yep. Apparently, eral camaraderie. Strangers who
he meant to provide oxygen for wouldn’t look one another in the
one passenger but inadvertently eye before were now smiling and
released them all. chatting, laughing nervously in
At this point, I emerged from the the way that you do when you’ve
loo and stepped into a scene out bonded over being scared witless You can find Amy at WWW.AM-
of Airplane. Bemused passengers at 30,000 feet. YLAUGHINGHOUSE.COM and on
Twitter @A_LAUGHINGHOUSE.

Wine Dine & Travel Winter 2015 69